Impulse Control with a Twist: Building Pause-Buttons That Actually Work
You know that moment: you see something shiny or catch a craving, and bam — you act before you even realize. Impulses hit fast.
The challenge is – instead of beating yourself up for “not being able to control your yourself,” to build little ways to be able to push the pause button in your brain.
That’s what we want – a pause so you can take a break, and ask yourself a question or two.
Everyone has urges and impulses – it’s not exclusive to ADHD folks. However, ADHD brains are wired in such a way that it makes us more likely to act immediately on those impulses – it’s that never ending dopamine chase.
But what if instead of beating yourself up for “losing control,” you learned how to build a little “pause-button” in your brain — one that lets you catch the urge, take a breath, and decide what really works for you? That’s what we’re after.
It’s not about obliterating impulses. It’s about creating a space between the urge and the action. That space is power. It gives you choice.
Steps + Tips to Help
Here are some concrete tools to build your pause-buttons. Pick the ones that feel doable, mix them, adapt them.
- Notice the Pattern First – Keep an easy log of when you feel impulses, what may have triggered it, how intense it was. This starts building awareness – notice, don’t judge.
- Notice the “weak spots.” Do specific situations, time, or feelings tend to be present when impulsivity shows up? For me it’s when I’m super stressed, I will then try to feel better by buying something. For some folks it’s late at night, or when they are sad, or when they shop at a particular store.
- Build Mini Pause Tools – your toolbox needs to include a few little tools you can pull out to insert a delay between the urge and the action. It can be things like – leave it in your amazon cart for at least a day. I put things in my wish list to help me – it almost makes me feel like I bought something. It might be moving snacks away from your bed. Creating a pause for you to have to get up and go get something to satisfy the urge. You may want to remove your credit cards from any one-click buying.
- Put your detective hat on. Ask yourself a question or two. Do I really want this right now? Do I need to say this right now? Does this action impact future-me?
- Use Reminders – If you are a late-night snacker – put a big note on your fridge that says “PAUSE – do I really want this?
- Be Gentle With Yourself – the idea isn’t perfection. The idea is to be able to take a pause more often. Celebrate when you do. EVEN if you end up making the decision to follow the impulse – if you paused first, celebrate!