The “All or Nothing” Executive Function Cycle

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The “All or Nothing” Executive Function Cycle

 

Executive Functions Unlocked

There’s a pattern many ADHD and neurodivergent people unintentionally slide into. 

I still do it often.  The cycle goes something like this: 

Overcommit → Hyperfocus or sprint → Exhaustion → Avoidance → Self-judgment → Big reset plan.

Here’s an example of how I recently fell into this cycle.

• Tomorrow I’m going wake up early, finish organizing my room, get some reading done, practice my ASL, write a blog, and make three phone calls (Overcommit)
• Wake Up Earlyish, Procrastinate, then Rush to get some things done (Hyperfocus)
• Get exhuasted by 9 am because I used too many of my energy spoons too fast (Exhausted)
• Collapse in bed or on the couch and nap or doom scroll (Avoidance)
• Spend the evening beating myself up for what I didn’t get done (Self-Judgment)
• Go to bed and decide what tomorrow’s Big Reset Plan will be.

That’s the cycle.

And none of it is a personality flaw.

It’s executive function + dopamine + nervous system dynamics. 

And it’s very very common for many of us.

 

 

 

Why Is This Cycle So Common?

The easy answer?  It’s chemistry.

Our brains run on dopamine. Dopamine loves novelty and urgency and excitement and competition. Dopamine doesn’t particularly care about “steady” or “reasonable.” 

So when you first start a new system or program or routine or reset – your brain engages loudly.  It goes from idea to fully transformed plan that’s color-coded and completely overhauls your life.

Because small steps aren’t exciting. Sustainable pacing feels boring.

There’s also sometimes a fear of not being able to do something right. Right always means bigger, more impressive, more dramatically different from before. 

Drop a bit of emotional intensity into the mix and our brains are off and running. 

For many of us, our nervous systems swing between hyper focused overdrive to total shutdown. We tend to sprint when energy and motivation inspire and ride the wave until the energy drops. And as it does, we crash.

Not because we are not capable or that we lack the desire to keep going. 

But because we are running at 150%, we that’s just not sustainable.

 

 

What’s the Crash Really About

When we crash, we tend to crash hard and loud.

We lose motivation. The planner goes into the pile of forgotten notebooks. We swipe away the alarms or turn thephone off. And the big reset plan feels impossible.

If you are like me, that might be the moment your brain says, “AHA – see? You can’t do it.” 

Let’s see if we can interrupt that thought process. 

Burnout and crashing are not proof that you are incapable, ineffective, lazy, or broken.

It’s proof that you were running too hot – like an engine that overheats. When our brains overheat, avoidance may creep in as a way to protect us from boiling over. It’s our nervous system going “Whoa whoa whoa we can’t keep up at this pace.” 

But here’s where it gets wonky. 

Once the self criticism kicks in, we start the shame spiral. You feel behind or embarassed or like you let someone down.

That shame fuels the next “Big Reset Plan.” And so we start it again – This time I’ll really commit. This time I won’t be so lazy. And then we start the cycle all over again. 

But recovery without reflection guarantees repetition. If we don’t stop and reflect on what actually happened we assume the problem is us. 

In reality – We aren’t inconsistent, we are switching back and forth between survival modes.

Overdrive, Shutdown – both are survival and neither is sustainable forever.

 

 

 

How Can We Break The Cycle (without becoming boring)

We tend to fear that if we don’t go “all in” or give “100%” we shouldn’t or won’t go at all. 

But if we are looking to build something sustainable – we have to get away from thinkin that means dull. Sustainable means repeatable.

So let’s talk about small, practicall shifts we can make.

• The “Could I Do This on a Bad Day Rule? – Will you be able to do this on a low energy day, or distracted and emotional day?  If the answer is no, you’re probably starting too big.
• The “Minimum Viable Version” – What’s the smallest version of this goal or task that still counts? Not the hope and dream version – the one you could repeat without having to psych yourself up.
• Start with Micro-Commitments over total re-hauls.  Instead of “I’m going to get up at 5 a.m. every day this week” try “I’m going to try to get up by 5 am twice this week.”
• Track progress and effort, not only outcome. Trying counts. Doing part of the goal counts. Even small moments of effort is powerful. Notice it. Remember that consistency is repetition, not intensity – it’s repeating the thing again, not doing it “right.”
• The Good Enough Rule – We tend to try to be perfect, often providing MORE than is required or needed.  When feeling stressed about something, ask if this is good enough?  Trust that you are able to give what’s within your capacity – not conquer the world today.

 

Remember – Sustainable over Spectacular

You don’t need another dramatic reset, new planner, harsher peptalk, more willpower, or a total personality change. 

What you need is compassion and systems that respect your nervous system, not overpower it. The goal isn’t spectacular, it’s sustainable.   

If this cycle sounds familar, you are not alone. Try one of these things:

• Notice where this pattern comes up regularly.
• Try one tiny shift this week. 
• Or – join us in the free UNFITTING Community if you are done performing productivity and ready to build something that actually fits your brain.

We are not chasing intensity here, we are building somthing you can live inside.