You Were Never Meant to Fit In — You Were Meant to Belong

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You Were Never Meant To Fit In – You Were Meant To Belong

Belonging, On Purpose

 

Many of us have believed that if we could just try a little harder, adjust a little more, or figure out the “right” way to be, things would finally click.

We’d feel comfortable, accepted, like we belonged. 

So we learned to fit in. 

We softened our edges, quieted our needs, molded ourselves into something more “palatable.”

And still… something felt off.

If you’ve ever wondered why belonging feels so exhausting—or why you can be surrounded by people and still feel alone—this isn’t a you problem.

It’s the difference between fitting in and belonging.

And you and I?

We weren’t mean to fit in – we were mean to belong.

 

 

Fitting In Is About Survival, Not Connection

Fitting in isn’t a bad thing, it’s not a moral failure or a lack of confidence.

For many of us, it’s a survival skill.  When you grow up feeling misunderstood, “too much,””too loud,” or just a little different than the people around you, you might learn quickly that blending in can feel safer than standing out. 

So you adapt. You become easier. Softer. More agreeable. More flexible. Less you. 

You learn what parts of yourself are welcomed and which ones need to stay hidden. You mask. You mimic. You edit in real time. 

And while fitting in might help you avoid conflict or rejection, it often comes with a quiet cost: exhaustion, disconnection, and a growing distance from your most authentic self.

If that’s what you are feeling, it’s often because you’re not actually belonging—you’re surviving. 

 

Belonging Doesn’t Ask You to Become Someone Else

 

Belonging is different.

Belonging doesn’t require you to shrink, mask, or explain yourself into acceptance.

It doesn’t ask you to earn your place by being quieter, tougher, more productive, or more “normal.”

Belonging is what happens when you can show up exactly as you are and be met with understanding instead of tolerance.

It’s the feeling of your shoulders dropping. Your breath slowing. Your nervous system realizing it can rest.

You don’t have to be confident to belong.

You don’t have to have all of the right words.

Belonging isn’t about fitting yourself into the room—it’s about being in a room where there’s space for you.

 

 

Belonging Can Be Chosen—On Purpose

Here’s the part we don’t talk about enough: belonging isn’t something we fall into or stumble into by luck. It’s something we can choose. 

Belonging on purpose means noticing which spaces require you to abandon yourself—and which ones invite you to come closer to who you really are. 

It means unlearning the idea that you have to be chosen first.

It means giving yourself permission to leave rooms that demand performance and seek out ones that value presence. 

This can feel scary, especially if fitting in has kept you safe for a long time. Letting yourself be seen—even a little—can feel vulnerable. 

But belonging doesn’t start with boldness.

It starts with honesty.

And often, with community.

If any of this feels familiar—if you’re tired of trying to fit into spaces that were never built with you in mind—I want you to know you’re not alone.

I’ve created a free community for people who are done performing, done shrinking, and done earning their right to belong.

It’s a space for real humans.

Messy humans.

Neurodivergent, queer, sensitive, curious, tired humans.

You don’t need to show up confident.

You don’t need to know what you want yet.

You don’t need to be “fixed.

”You’re allowed to just… be.

If you’re craving a place where you can exhale and belong on purpose, you’re warmly invited to join us.