The Three C Philosophy
I have a program for parents of children who have ADHD called Navigating ADHD Parenting: Embrace the Three C Philosophy. Raising kids who are neurodivergent and likely have difficulties with emotional regulation, time management, working memory and task initiation is different than raising kids who are neurotypical.
Because of this, traditional parenting advice and strategies often don’t work for our kids or our families. And as parents, we feel frustrated and lost when we try everything everyone says to try and feel like just… nothing… works. I believe there is a better way. One that embraces what I call The Three C Philosophy. Here is a little bit about the basics of the Three C Philosophy.
CONNECT – The most important thing for our kids is that we develop and nurture a deep relationship with them. Having that deep connection is a core need that we are born with. This means more than spending 1:1 time with the child every day. As a parent coach I admire says, “More is not the answer.”
It is not about more time, more games, more relating – it’s about deeper. It is about develop a deep connection with your child or teen that they will be able to trust enough to do the next things – coregulate and collaborate. I will be posting a blog sometime soon about ways to foster deeper connection with your child.
COREGULATE – We are not born knowing how to regulate our emotion. Children learn this as they age and mature. Children with ADHD often run about 30% behind their neurotypical peers in terms of their ability to do things like manage emotions.
All children need to be taught how to regulate emotions, but neurodivergent kids tend to need more teaching and more practice than neurotypical kids. Parents can help their children learn and develop the ability to regulate their emotions. The best way to do this is by modeling our own self regulating skills as well as by actively coregulating emotions WITH our children. I have done a blog previously that included some tips for coregulating with your child with ADHD that you can view HERE.
COLLABORATE – This is working with your child to strategize the solution to a problem. Neurodivergent kids (maybe all kids really) don’t really like being told what to do. More than that, they don’t remember it or invest in a rule or an order.
By collaborating a solution with your child, you get them to invest in said solution. You get to hear what your child thinks is the problem and what they’d like the solution to be. That way you can collaborate together to find a way that meets both your needs and theirs.
This allows them to dig deeper into their own feelings and needs in a safe and healthy way, because they trust the connection you have with them. In turn, collaborating helps foster an even deeper connection as well as teaching your child mutual respect, problem solving skills, and active listening.
To Wrap It All Up
This is a very simplified version of my Three C Philosophy. The purpose of the philosophy is to help parents of kids with ADHD to become the centered, calm, confident and coach-like care giver that their child really needs to thrive. My work with parents revolves heavily around the philosophy that these Three C’s are the very basics of what our kids absolutely must have in order to thrive. I will post more in the future about tips for connecting, collaborating, and coregulating.
If you know someone who might benefit from working with me, please share my website, blog, or info with them. If you want to learn more about my program, you can book a free, no obligation discovery session with me today.
Next week’s blog will be bringing you some information about sensory needs and how they impact people with ADHD. Until then, I hope you have a wonderful week!
🌻 Don’t Delay Joy 🌻
Kat Sweeney, MCLC
Book your FREE, NO OBLIGATION discovery session with me today. This is a 20 minute call and has zero obligation.